The Next Morning

You wake up in the morning and the sun rays are seeping in through the curtain. Your mind wanders back to what happened the previous day, previous week; at times the previous month trying to make sense.
The new mental space painfully registers its presence and some extra hours appearing in the daily schedule making you aware of the gaping hole in time and in soul.Sometime back your mind was engrossed in this one person who felt like home. You had found some one to look forward to for spending time, for sharing your mind & heart. The one you could reach out numerous times without any hesitation.
The person might be around but the realization that you have to let it go has seeped in. "I'll be around! We'll be friends!" Deep down you are aware that none of this will be true. Changed Feelings cannot transition back to a fresh slate. The transition has started wherein from holding really close you have to gradually let distance come in.
You'll try reasoning it out, running conversations back and forth in mind. Where did it go wrong? Why? Is there any hope? Can I fix this thing? There is no option but leave to it on time. The thing no one seems to understand is that moving on is a one way street. A step forward and it cannot be taken back. No one wants to come back to the source of anguish and pain!

So would you stay in the same spot to wait a bit longer to see if they come back or take the irreversible step ahead?
Coffee??

You may say I'm a dreamer

Till date I never realized that it was a song. O my God! such a beautiful thought. Ignorance was not a bliss in this case or maybe it was. I wouldn't have been overpowered by the beauty of the lyrics before this stage in life. Maybe the song & I both were preparing for this rendezvous.

I had read about John Lennon and Yoko Ono but did not ever think of discovering them. The rendezvous was nothing short of glory. The thought that the greatest moments of your life are the quietest ones is true. A person I never knew connected with my soul. I had just clicked another URL while making a presentation. This video had lyrics and i bothered to stare at the tab. 20 seconds into it I was laughing and crying all at once. Isn't this I have always learned for. The song was like a purgatory taking me back into the idyllic times, the places, the people the moments and the best things were free, irrespective of my finance professor preaching about no free lunches. What to do? I have had too many free lunches in life. Maybe I'm beyond redemption to appreciate finance.

The artist in me? Well even after years of not writing I can still express with words. At least that part is not lost. For not just play the video and lets all dream together for this world.

Caged Bird III

I saw another bird flying high. Sometimes back I envied her and now I pity her.Yes! She was high but somehow got trapped in the cage fitted at that altitude. The new captivator was enchanting. He gave that bird all the comforts, all the happiness she could dream of. She loved her cage even more, surrendered her entire self to the captivator just on the assurance that,

"He loved her. He loved when she sang just for him. He loved her presence in that cage."

Times changed with the ticking of clock but the bird was still savoring the cage's beauty & her captivator's charm.He returned one day and asked her to leave. The bird was taken aback.With her wings trimmed she could no longer fly. She had devoted herself to the cage & captivator who now made her realize how ugly she was, how hoarse was her voice. The captivator was now fed up of her crooning &

; embarrassed at her twittering. He wanted to throw out the cage but for 'old time's sake' asked the bird to fly out to the sky and lend him some peace. He forgot that now her wings were trimmed. She begged him to let her stay but it was in vain. All she got were some harsh words and a period to heal her body.

The body ill heal but what about the soul? Such issues are dealt harshly in ordinary circumstances as people prefer tending to their basic needs only. The bird has wounds on her heart and soul. Is this the destiny of all birds?
The cage may be of iron or of gold but all it does is to curb freedom.....freedom of the heart, mind and soul. Once her wounds heal she might fly once again but will her heart again throb with the excitement of flying when she has already fallen in love with the cage? Alas! She is just a guest now and not the owner of the cage. It will soon belong to some other bird.....

CAGED ???or NOT???

I saw that bird chirping on the guava tree in my garden. I asked her if her questions were answered ? She shook her head in disappointment and rose her liquid eyes to me. Such sorrow, such disappointment, such anguish; all trapped inside those two wide saddened eyes. I asked her as to why was she chirping if such is her actual condition? "How can I do such injustice to my fellow mates &; my liberator? Internal battles are fought with mind.Not with plain words!"

PHILOSOPHY is undoubtedly the most treacherous weapon human race has ever designed &; devised. It can justify from anything to everything. Philosophy questions and answers as well. The best part is we humans have the authority to switch to the various modes of philosophy and justify this disloyalty under the disguise of changing times. The problem is in admitting that ;"Yes! I was wrong at that point of time. or I am doing something wrong right now due to my weaknesses." On the contrary we take great pride in our actions and display our mask of varying philosophies each time we are confronted with reality.

Our bird at one point was questioning her liberator's duties is now unsure of the own state. That day she wanted her liberator to do something for her but now she is reluctant on getting it ,as one of the philosophies claim that ' if you get, you will have to give. All the world is give and take.' Poor birdy! She learnt it the hard way when her keeper made her realize all the things he had done to fend her, amuse her and keep her in the best of spirits. She suddenly fell from the sky to the harsh ground of reality.

The sweet voice she claimed to be her own was such as someone had taught her to sing. The beautiful feathers she possessed were because someone had brushed them, cleaned them since her infancy. The high flights she enjoyed in the open sky were because someone had fed her to develop strong muscles and waived off their night's sleep to care of her on nights she was ill.Its really easy to be selfish and say that all caged birds do get such care but how can the bird now feel all the entities she had forever claimed to be her own, be in her possession.

A voice within me is raising a question as to if she hadn't been blessed with a sweet voice; no melody would have turned it to song. If she hadn't possessed pretty bright colors on her wings, no amount of brushing would have helped her.But the issue is not about dwelling on the qualities possessed and the qualities developed by the bird. The creation of another chunk of philosophy is futile.

The question is of returns, of give and take, of selfish motives.The bird had once given her complete self to her keeper who now wanted a return for all what he had done for her. If such is the case with mankind then how can she trust that her liberator wouldn't do the same with her? Is she really liberated or only shifting from one cage to the other unknowingly ? Can love ever be selfless?

I really doubt!! We love our parents as we need their care .We love our friends and siblings as we need their company.We love our parents we wish to be accompanied for life.We love our kids as we want someone to dote upon us when we age.Then why? Why do each and every bit of philosophy claims the existence of 'unconditional love' ? Can the feeling of love ever be separated from element of greed, lust??

I always end by raising questions for my bird and my own self in the hope that they'll be answered someday......Alas! The wait is very long................

The Caged Bird

He showed me a sketch. I could hardly interpret it but he insisted that I speak out whatever I felt about it.
" This is fire in your mind. The fire of anxiety and uncertainity. But behind it is........hhhhhhmmm is it a room?"
"Its the CAGE!! Its the cage of your mind.I tried hard and was able to open the door but behind it was the cage. This is the culprit which prevents you from enjoying your present. You constantly wish to be happy in the future but who knows what might happen tomorrow. Trust me opening the door of your mind was a tiresome job what would I do with this cage of barbed wires surrounding your mind?"
That one conversation shook me. Sometimes you spend year after year searching your own self so as to know who you are and what you want? Then as continuous self absorbance leads to disillusionment; you come under the impression that you have started understanding your own self quiet a lot.You go about lecturing your fellowmen about the greatness of introspection when suddenly such a convesation comes as a jolt to your thoughts. Sometimes we take years in understanding a person while for some its just a glance which narrates each and everything.

When conversations of such intensity happen between two persons it results in building up of mutual adoration, which in my case was quiet a lot. He was sucessful in breaking the barbed cage of my mind and in releasing my true self...........
Its just so wonderful that strangers who have entered your life just a few days back start affecting you much more than tho
se with whom you have spent your life.
I can reall a few lovely lines in hindi which fabulously describe this condition

बादल को छूने की चाहत तो थी

उड़ने का अरमान नही था मगर

दे दिया मुझको एक अजनबी आसमा

मेरे पैरों से मेरी ज़मी छीन कर

This free bird is now struggling to create a niche in this vast world. The bird sometimes yearns for her cage which had made her numb about the joys and sorrows this world has to offer. But the bird knows that her liberator wants to see her lying high.
That was the part where the liberator showed his greatness by showering the bird with the blessing of freedom. But how can we forget to see to the plight of our poor bird who is now vulnerable and left on the mercies of the world. The question I want to ask is ;" Is the liberator's duty over? Was his role just to shoo the bird off from that horrid cage . Shouldn't he have given the bird some more care ,and made her feel secure ,before leaving her to manage the nasty ways of the world? What exactly is 'freedom' in this case? The bird broke off one cage but was not taught how not to get trapped again ? Will she forever depend on the mercies of liberators to break off cages????????????
I just wish these questions do not remain unanswered!!!

Loneliness

‘Loneliness’Often sitting on my bed, I stare outside that lovely window and see a world so full of wonders. In the deep loneliness of my heart I started feeling the tinge of beauty. Now even amidst a huge crowd my soul craves for this mate.
I can recall ‘Daffodils’, I studied it in school for sure. But it’s now that a considerable amount of time has passed, that I can actually enjoy its beauty & have realized that nature is intoxicating (I mean it possesses intoxicating beauty, stop wandering in your mind). What is required is what God has endowed to us in ample amounts………’Imagination’.

What is required is to surrender your self to the supreme forces of Mother Nature and then see the ecstasy you experience. I really don’t know why am I writing all this? Some questions have their beauty till the time they are unanswered. The human habit of continuous explanation leads only to creation of futile things which the modern world terms as books. No, I am not against books but the modern way of publishing enormous chunks of papers. Quality has been long back replaced by gigantic quantities. And what is expected from an individual is to cram this up, vomit out the facts on a piece of paper and finally acquire another bit of paper (popularly known as the certificate) and march ahead.

Somewhere down the line we are compromising on the aspect of imagination. Rather suppressing and choking up the young imaginative minds by the loads of school bags and ambitions. ‘Ambitions’? Amused by the mention of this term? But this is one of the main culprit ruining the little young minds. Everyone wants an Albert Einstein in their home but they fail to realize two main facts. Firstly, that genius are born and not created. Secondly and most importantly that even Albert Einstein failed!
Humanity will progress if people stop joining this mice race (even rats are more adventurous) and accept themselves as they are. This inferiority complex is leading us no where. We have accepted that a person getting high scores in exams is a better individual than the one with low scores. From where this unsaid protocol has risen is still unknown but it has affected everyone’s lives.
It’s high time that we give complete freedom to every individual to lead life as per their own capabilities and creativity.